Thursday, April 3, 2008

ramblings

I feel like I am always playing catch up with life, specially my "online" life. Sometimes during the day, in the shower, when I am driving, on the lift, when you just have to wait for things to move along, I think, I reflect. Especially in the shower, it is the most relaxing time of my day, and driving the car. Driving is one thing I really love about going to work (not so much when I leave work, because then I am in a hurry to get home). I think a lot about new craft projects, it bugs me a little bit that I know I forget most of the ideas I really like, but it sure is a great creative exercise. When I am reflecting, sometimes I think I could blog about it, but about 90% of these "posts" never happen.

Anyway, but there was this post I was going to write last week, about my day, but I forgot half of it.. LOL See the need to write it down before it goes away? So, last Thursday I woke early, 6:30 AM, which for me is completely crazy (after all, I tend to go to bed at 3AM). I managed to get out the door by 7AM and started driving to work. Just after I leave home there is this lake and you go through a kind of bridge next to it. I look over the lake and there is this beautiful sunrise happening, and just as the wonder of it hit me "it is a beautiful day" from U2 started playing on the radio. I didn't have my camera with me, but I wish I had, a photo would be great to illustrate this post, but I hope you can picture the whole thing in your head :) Right then I decided I would love to wake up early every day just to experience that, even though I am totally not a morning person, I see how it is worth it. I kept going and there was fog on certain places, like the clouds were touching the ground, the colors of autumn were highlighted by the sun that was coming up. I just love those colors. The song just got stuck in my head, what a beautiful day.

I had this headache, the one I still have and am trying to ignore for a while. I know it is sinusitis and the weather is changing so I just need to get over this phase and I will feel better soon. Sometimes it gets worse, especially when I don't get much sleep. So, on that beautiful day, it got so bad that about lunch time I decided I needed to go home and rest up my eyes. I got home, the house was pristine, all organized and pretty, the cleaner had come (she comes once a fortnight now). I decided I needed to get my laundry done so I could rest up at night. So I started doing laundry, did two loads while having lunch and watching a little TV. It was time to pick up Mateus at school (3PM), so off I went. We went to the bank and to then to get him some donuts :) We went to pick up Lucas and then we headed back home.

Mateus then decided he didn't want to go to the toilet. I knew he needed too, and I took him to the toilet, but he would "do it" After losing my temper with him, I left him there in the toilet for a bit to talk to Alex on the phone. When I came back, he had "done his business" in his pants. The boy is in front of the toilet bowl, half naked, and decides to wee on his pants... I know he is only four but he did it solely to piss me off. There are some things you can control, right? A beautiful day like that just went downhill. The house was clean, the laundry was done, we were happy and now what? Dirty floor, clothes soaked in pee and a very unhappy mother and child.

But, hey, it could have been different, it could have stayed beautiful and relaxing and all good things and my post could have been about my great day, but who has control over these things?

Alex did come home to save the day, he talked to Mateus, gave him and Lucas a bath and went to the supermarket for me, and I can't remember what we ate but I am sure I didn't have to cook.

Either way, I want to focus on the stuff I DO have control over. I can't tell when Mateus is going to throw a fit like that, but I can try and wake up early and have a good attitude about my day. I have been failing at going to bed early and waking up early, but I will keep trying. I will keep trying to eat better and wake up early and be more patient and simplify and procrastinate less and all these things that are so easy to give up when you fail. But I will not give up. I will not give up. I will not give up *chant mantra to try to convince myself*

So, it is a little over midnight and I am going to bed and hope that tomorrow morning (... I mean, today!) I have the perfect morning followed by a perfect afternoon and then a perfect evening! Wish you a perfect day too!

2 comments:

Penn Family said...

Michelle, what a great post! I could've written so much of what you wrote. It's so easy to let a beautiful day just go downhill...ok, I'm saying that and I've been crabby all morning. It's time to get my attitude in check & enjoy my day & my sweet kids (even if they have bitten each other, made huge messes & have driven me to the point of insanity! :) )

joelsgirl_Kellie said...

Uggh, I'm having a day like that. I think if I'd turn the computer off, I'd have more patience. I think i'll try it...in a minute. ;)